Thursday, October 14, 2010

My heart is broken.

O Lord, haven't you heard my prayer?

Now where do I go and complain? Who is my friend?

Would you not console my crying soul?

I carry the burden of a million sins and counting - it is all my fault. I do not have the courage or intellect either - I am the manmukh. In my mind I may believe I am a good devotee - but if my prayers are not heard by You, what use is my thinking and believing? I am the loser devotee, a dog is better than me- at least he obeys and serves his master. A blade of grass is better than me - at least it sways to your Will. What even made me think I was a good devotee?

Now what do I even say?

O Supreme Master
Have my prayers failed?
I know there's not a greater sinner than me-
but being Your child, I am eligible for you mercy, am I not?

I have submitted to You my mind, body and wealth
I wish to sway in the direction of Your Will
What else can I do?
How do I please you?
How do I obtain your attention?
What action would make me the tallest tree?
O Glorious Sun, I wish to bathe in your light!
Forgive me, forgive me-
this is my continuous prayer-
O Forgiver-Guru, forgive me,
how else would I meet you my Lord?

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

O Guru Nanak,
O Lord,
I have forsaken all-
dharma, karma, and discipline.
I surrender to your will
and rely on your grace.
Save me, beloved Lord!
I live for you
I live to see your lotus feet
O breaker of bonds, o beloved Master
I live to serve You.
I say from the core of my heart-
I want nothing in the world-
but Your feet.
What colour, what flavour would make this sweet attractive?
O Lord, what would make you look at me with Your glance of grace?
I have been trying - I am tired,
now please guide my soul,
please make me do
what will please You-
I'm such a faithless coward!
I may have a thousand talents-
but all are worldly entanglements
if not used to praise you, O Satguru, my Lord!
All useless unless used to glorify Your Name.
Give me such a talent, my Guru-
a talent that may please You.
Oh how can I please You?
You are said to be Paarbrahm, the Beyond Soul,
You are infinite, the Greatest, Our Holy Father.
O Lord - just what am I! Oh so insignificant!
What could I possibly do to earn your loving grace, O Hari!
Forgive me, Lord, forgive me-
I am such a sinner!